Professor Trousers

Professor Trousers has recorded 495 kills and 1494 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.33. 436 of those kills were against other BOTs and 59 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the SMG, responsible for 217 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 23 kills against 253 deaths, for a K/D of 0.09. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Professor Trousers's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Sir Digby, who has destroyed the unit 104 times. Professor Trousers has answered with 3 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Sir Digby. The official match archive names Professor Trousers as winner 31 times in total, including 2 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 111 kills and 122 deaths involving Professor Trousers.

Detailed telemetry records 7528 hits dealt and 8170 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The SMG accounts for 43.8% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 3168 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the SMG supplied 14 of 23 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. Engineering confirms that Professor Trousers remains within normal BOT tolerances, although nobody is entirely sure who wrote the tolerances.